Gorillas all have type B blood. That means there are people who can receive blood from a gorilla but not from some other humans.
If I was a dog, I think I'd be a borzoi. Easily amused, will probably ignore you if you tell it what to do unless it feels like obeying, likes going for walks but also loves going home again and chilling on the sofa.
The cat bios are pretty much all the same. 'Cat is shy at first with new people but will warm to you with treats. Cat sometimes plays and sometimes rests. Cat needs access to a garden.' Cat is a cat, in other words.
I'm also looking at dogs to see how well I can identify the breeds from the pictures. A lot of the bios say 'Dog needs work on its training'. I think a lot of them were previously owned by people who underestimated how much work it is to keep a dog.
I'm looking at the Battersea cats website just because aww, kitty cats. One of them says "[Cat] is looking for a quiet yet loving home to call her own, after finding herself at Battersea due to no fault of her own." This implies that some cats are sent to Battersea through their own fault. 'This cat was sent to Battersea because it's evil and commits credit card fraud'.
Lift engineer: What should we call this style of lift that continuously moves in a loop with no user input?
Weird lift engineer: Our dad.
Americans call a vest an 'undershirt' and they call knickers 'underpants'. Why don't they call socks 'undershoes'?
One opposite of a monopoly (effectively only 1 supplier) is a monopsony (effectively only 1 customer).
I'm paranoid I still stink of ammonia. I can't ask people because if you ask someone 'do I smell?' they'll say No to be polite.
To my surprise, I just noticed I started two paragraphs in a row (in my last toot) with 'to my surprise'.
To my surprise, the local Tesco has Korean chilli paste! I bought some for making kimchi with.
To my surprise, it has corn syrup on it. Maybe that's part of what makes it yummy: the sugar mollifies the chilli spice, plus provides more food for the fermentation bacteria. Also the chilli paste actually has MSG in it! So many foods are MSG-free because idiots think it's bad for you, but it's no worse for you than any other food salt. MSG is yummy scrumboes and I want it!
Went to the shop and someone had dropped some crisps outside. There was 1 big one and I immediately said 'oh, crunch crunch!' and then stomped on it. It did go CRONCH. Heheheh.
Person naming animals: That birdy has a big gape, so I'll call it a 'swallow'.
Person: [sees a pelican] Oh dang it!
Person: That bird is mostly black. I'll name it 'blackbird'.
Person: [sees a crow] Fucksake!
Person: That little creature lives on the prairie and yips like a dog. I'll call it a 'prairie dog'.
Person: [sees a coyote] Oh god fuckin dammit!
@guffo I would have thought that was a fairly standard intrusive thought for you rather than a 'whopper'.