Toilet full of bugs
ephemeromorph@topspicy.social

My mum, to my brother who had a glum expression: You look like a tortoise that's been given curare and died.

August 02, 2022
Toilet full of bugs
ephemeromorph@topspicy.social

Squishmallows are the Funko Pops of plushies.

August 02, 2022
Toilet full of bugs
ephemeromorph@topspicy.social

Me playing any game with romanceable characters:

Me: [carefully selects an item I think the person will like, based on things they've said and what I can glean from their interests]
Person: I hate this. Fuck you.

August 02, 2022
Toilet full of bugs
ephemeromorph@topspicy.social

Me: Hello Gaia from Horizon Zero Dawn.
Gaia: Hello Ephemeromorph from Top Spicy.
Me: You're a computer. Can you run Doom?
Gaia: I am literally a planet-controlling AI.
Me: So can you?
Gaia: ...No.
Me: Why not?
Gaia: It's too scary. ):

August 02, 2022
Toilet full of bugs
ephemeromorph@topspicy.social

I ought to play Mother/Earthbound one of these days. I've heard that SMT, Pokemon and Undertale all drew inspiration from it, and I love all those.

August 02, 2022
Toilet full of bugs
ephemeromorph@topspicy.social

It hasn't rained for bastard weeks!

August 02, 2022
Toilet full of bugs
ephemeromorph@topspicy.social

Found a huge house spider last night. Must have had an 80mm legspan across.

August 02, 2022
ephemeromorph shared a status by getcooking
Beep boop
getcooking@botsin.space

Recipe idea: combine honey and owl pellets to make spag bol. Garnish with mushy peas. What, you want it to taste good as well?? Fussy bonesack.

August 02, 2022
Toilet full of bugs
ephemeromorph@topspicy.social

What the fuck, this is like something @getcooking would make. en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Frogey

August 02, 2022
Toilet full of bugs
ephemeromorph@topspicy.social

I want an Oxalis triangularis.

August 02, 2022
Toilet full of bugs
ephemeromorph@topspicy.social

@guffo Motherfucker.

August 02, 2022
Toilet full of bugs
ephemeromorph@topspicy.social

There's a sawfly larva at the top of my window frame. What are you doing there? Idiot.

August 01, 2022
Toilet full of bugs
ephemeromorph@topspicy.social

Shark family going to Ikea and the children get a toy human

August 01, 2022
Toilet full of bugs
ephemeromorph@topspicy.social

Sinner by Judas Priest is an absolute storming masterpiece of a track. I love it so hard! 🤘

August 01, 2022
Toilet full of bugs
ephemeromorph@topspicy.social

If you have artificial turf in your garden, you're a twat and I hate you.

August 01, 2022
Toilet full of bugs
ephemeromorph@topspicy.social

⚽🦗🪳🐜
Bugs playing football

August 01, 2022
Toilet full of bugs
ephemeromorph@topspicy.social

There are other people here too, otherwuse I'd start playing Lou Reed's Metal Machine Music on my phone.

August 01, 2022
Toilet full of bugs
ephemeromorph@topspicy.social

If you watch videos on your phone in public with sound and no headphones, I should be allowed to squirt you in the face with a squirty water bottle.

August 01, 2022
Toilet full of bugs
ephemeromorph@topspicy.social

@bestiaexmachina Yess, making your own website is SUCH FUN and everyone should do it.

August 01, 2022
Toilet full of bugs
ephemeromorph@topspicy.social

@leemccat Which animal has an arsehole in the middle of its back? A police horse.

August 01, 2022