My mum, to my brother who had a glum expression: You look like a tortoise that's been given curare and died.
Squishmallows are the Funko Pops of plushies.
Me playing any game with romanceable characters:
Me: [carefully selects an item I think the person will like, based on things they've said and what I can glean from their interests]
Person: I hate this. Fuck you.
Me: Hello Gaia from Horizon Zero Dawn.
Gaia: Hello Ephemeromorph from Top Spicy.
Me: You're a computer. Can you run Doom?
Gaia: I am literally a planet-controlling AI.
Me: So can you?
Me: Why not?
Gaia: It's too scary. ):
I ought to play Mother/Earthbound one of these days. I've heard that SMT, Pokemon and Undertale all drew inspiration from it, and I love all those.
It hasn't rained for bastard weeks!
Found a huge house spider last night. Must have had an 80mm legspan across.
Recipe idea: combine honey and owl pellets to make spag bol. Garnish with mushy peas. What, you want it to taste good as well?? Fussy bonesack.
I want an Oxalis triangularis.
There's a sawfly larva at the top of my window frame. What are you doing there? Idiot.
Shark family going to Ikea and the children get a toy human
Sinner by Judas Priest is an absolute storming masterpiece of a track. I love it so hard! 🤘
If you have artificial turf in your garden, you're a twat and I hate you.
Bugs playing football
There are other people here too, otherwuse I'd start playing Lou Reed's Metal Machine Music on my phone.
If you watch videos on your phone in public with sound and no headphones, I should be allowed to squirt you in the face with a squirty water bottle.
@bestiaexmachina Yess, making your own website is SUCH FUN and everyone should do it.