Also I picked example URLs that I assume don't exist. If they are real websites, I don't work there.

(To be fair, I just checked and the old URL doesn't redirect to the new one; it's just a 404. Maybe the domain will expire and I can buy it to redirect somewhere stupid.)

My company to our cuntstomers: we are changing our shop URL from dicksprouts.site to dicksplash.site. We will send you several emails about this over the next 3 months.
Cuntstomers today: wtf dicksprouts doesn't work.

Brought in a tub of mushies. Offered some to my team. They are baffled by the idea of eating raw mushrooms. Your loss m8.

@getcooking Stop being funnier than me

Never mind, turns out there is a sync button for this purpose.

Cowtits, one of my Switch controllers appears to have plain died. The Switch can't detect it at all.

All I really want to do is play video games, eat snacks, and cum occasionally. Why does life make this so difficult?

I can hear someone scream-hooting and I can't tell if it's a dog or a child.

You know that saying about how your nipple colour is your ideal nude lipstick shade? Does that mean your areola or the actual nubbin?

Looking at jobs. One of them says 'liaising with multiple departments with competing priorities.' I.e. 'It's a clownshow here, good luck fucko'.

Soul Hackers = spin-off of Devil Summoner
Devil Summoner = spin-off of Shin Megami Tensei
Shin Megami Tensei = spin-off of Megami Tensei

Atlus is nuttier than squirrel shit.

(In before Kingdom Hearts fans say 'hold my beer'.)

I never played the first Soul Hackers, but I want 2 because I loved the Raidou Kuzunoha games, which are also under the Devil Summoner brand.

Tutanota is the most dumbass email service ever because you have to pay to search your emails older than 3 weeks.

Oh cowtits, it's out on the 26th, not the 12th as I thought.

Soul Hackers 2 is out next week! I'm a bit cheesed off it's not coming to Switch (when SMT V was a Switch exclusive!). I'll pick it up on PS4. Or maybe I'll wait 18 months or so because new games cost £stupid these days.

IT'S
MOTHER
FUCKING
JUDAS
PRIEST
TIME

@guffo I think you will appreciate this. https://opendomesday.org/name/humphrey-goldenbollocks/

Someone didn't think that through. https://www.indy100.com/viral/southend-united-rose-west-stand

My mum and Bro1 are at a raptor centre. Mum has sent me a video of Bro1 burping at a young bald eagle, who burps back.