I give sausage to my cat
Every Tuesday night, stat.
Then I forgot (oh so silly),
The cat ate my willy,
And now my scrote is missing its hat.
Today I learned that testicles are bigger than ovaries. I always assumed ovaries would be bigger because they're full of a lifetime supply of big gametes as opposed to making tiny gametes on demand.
Had my GP appointment. I don't have a slipped disc; it's just muscular. On the one hand, that's a relief. On the other hand, it means there isn't a definite cause and solution, just 'your back's shit lol'.
Blobfish aren't blobby when alive; they're just normal-looking fish. We named them after how they look when they're dead from rapid decompression. It's like naming us after how we look when you throw us out of an airlock.
The gene 'eyeless' is an eye-making gene. It's named after what happens when it fucks up (this is common when naming genes).
Tortoiseshell cats are oddly named, because the pattern is named after what a tortoise shell looks like when it's cut and polished. Living tortoises' shells don't look like that.
The pigment 'ivory black' is named after the colour ivory goes when it's charred.
Are there other things that are named after their fucked-up state?
The NHS page says to contact your GP if the pain is worse at night, so I did so. Got an appointment for later today, which is pretty amazing! Must have had someone else cancel.
I'm pretty sure it's not my kidneys, because I'm weeing normally and I don't feel sick.
I already have some prescription-strength anti-inflanmatories (I take them for period pain) so I guess I'll use those.
I think I might actually have a slipped disc. I've got all the symptoms. https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/slipped-disc/
Your mum doesn't have pubes, just a bunch of spiders attracted by the flies enticed by her fishy gash stank.
There once was a man called Harvey
Who was a singer and pop star-vey.
He ate a baked spud
But three was a dud
And he vomited under his car-vey.
The original tweet is deleted and OP suspended, but someone screenshot it on Reddit. https://www.reddit.com/r/TIHI/comments/sz8pl4/thanks_i_hate_bowsers_canon_cock/
Someone made a 3D model of Bowser's cock, and Nintendo made a copyright strike against it, which means it's canon. https://www.eurogamer.net/patreon-pulls-nsfw-bowser-art-following-reported-nintendo-copyright-claim